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The virgin Mary was a reptile

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50 Comments

    Popular Comments:

TheGiggityGuy . 2018-09-21 15:53:19
All hail raptor jesus.
937 7
Neuroactive . 2018-09-21 16:12:33
When ya can accept impregnation by invisible omnipotence for your thought experiment, but full insemination is too far.
404 7
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 16:15:24
Nowhere does it say Jesus didn't come from Mary's eggs. In fact it says she conceived him (as in, got an egg fertilized) through the H.G. ..
116 7
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 16:16:15
...but without having sex. So the entire premise is dumb, and no way has that one dude taken 3 years of theology only to be stumped by this.
106 5
alymac . 2018-09-21 16:18:14
So, who's DNA did he have? Mary, HG or both?
8 1
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 16:21:03
Since the authors of the bible lacked scientific knowledge on several subjects, to say the least, making certain events impossible...
17 0
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 16:22:36
...even as a miracle, I'd go with HG's.
13 0
WalterSobchaksWorldOfPain . 2018-09-21 16:24:06
Do you really have a pile of Walthers? Do you have a PPK in 7.65x17? I want one.
19 0
RetroBlast . 2018-09-21 16:24:52
Lizard people! I knew it!
2 0
VulpineEmpress . 2018-09-21 16:26:47
https://i.imgur.com/fqCiL4I.jpg
838 7
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 16:36:46
Yes I do, and no, mine is in .380.
13 0
kaenneth . 2018-09-21 17:03:03
Three years in first year theology.
58 0
janl01 . 2018-09-21 17:04:21
From a theological point, Mary is used as a tool to show that Jesus is a human. Her virginity is used to show the divine part of Jesus.
203 8
BojanglesTheFlyingCar . 2018-09-21 17:05:55
Zeus, don't put your dick in her
5 0
TheLDMan . 2018-09-21 17:06:23
Dude’s probably just playing to the crowd. It’s religion, just say God did the miracle and wham bam you’re done.
14 4
janl01 . 2018-09-21 17:12:12
Part was a bad formulation, since Jesus is truly human, and truly god (just like the father and the holy spirit). His life showed the human
74 4
Drywhitetoast . 2018-09-21 17:14:00
The obvious answer is Mary was like Cartman's mom. She was a hermaphrodite and impregentated herself.
5 1
janl01 . 2018-09-21 17:15:49
Aspect, being dependent on the laws of the creation and other humans (check the Apostles' Creed, Jesus is passive in his human life part),
61 3
janl01 . 2018-09-21 17:19:20
After his death the divine aspect shows (like rising from the dead, ascending to heaven etc.). Also does things actively in the Apostles'
51 3
janl01 . 2018-09-21 17:21:37
Creed. Btw I believe that God created the world, but not like the bible claims, more like the big man planned it out since starting with the
44 4
janl01 . 2018-09-21 17:23:10
Big Bang. And I am no native speaker, so sorry for any mistakes. Have a nice day. :)
45 3
WeedoForFreedom . 2018-09-21 17:28:43
Yeah the whole story makes zero sense. Even in the I made up this story to convey different teachings scenario. Few good ones in there tho
12 12
DYLANLEE79 . 2018-09-21 17:31:48
Trans raptor ZOMBIE Jesus.... Because life finds a way, to come back to life.
45 0
flack9099 . 2018-09-21 18:28:42
I find, and you should too....this very distastefull.
6 27
rainyrivers . 2018-09-21 18:38:01
I've always imagined HG like Zeus in this situation. Only instead of turning into a cow a corporal ghost fucked her.
46 1
pilojo . 2018-09-21 18:40:21
Or, even, it's possible that Mary was a hermaphrodite and had two working sets of genitals and impregnated herself.
3 1
OldSchoolCoder . 2018-09-21 18:40:27
https://i.imgur.com/TyDmzKN.mp4
36 2
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 18:43:28
Dunno, they "knew" she was a virgin. They'd definitely noticed that. Also, wouldn't that kid come out all fucked up...
3 0
PileOfWalthers . 2018-09-21 18:43:49
...if that's even possible, I mean technically?
1 0
pilojo . 2018-09-21 18:44:24
Not necessarily. It's only an elevated chance of birth defects, and not even significantly elevated. At the same time, how did they "know"?
1 0
pilojo . 2018-09-21 18:45:36
They didn't have technology to know from observation, so it must be word of mouth. But I admit that they would have noticed two sets of junk
1 0
SmolTenk . 2018-09-21 18:50:32
He can make ears grow back so why not a dick?
2 0
pilojo . 2018-09-21 18:55:54
There's documented cases of hermaphrodites reproducing asexually. In one of the more well-known cases, they had a set of hermaphrodite twins
1 0
GoatOfMendes . 2018-09-21 19:05:26
Hail Satan.
6 3
zzed . 2018-09-21 19:20:34
so what i got out of that is that jesus was a highlander-style immortal, coming back to life after a violent death but normal until then
18 1
redloki55 . 2018-09-21 19:38:34
*trans* raptor Jesus
17 0
FloridaKnight . 2018-09-21 19:41:15
It was a miracle. Science doesn't apply to miracles. This is like asking if Superman would beat OPM. They're different categories entirely.
11 3
Aermas . 2018-09-21 19:42:33
Mary was the immaculate conception. This allows her to be free from Original Sin & be pure enough to conceive Jesus. Jesus was male &
3 8
brassknucklenerd . 2018-09-21 19:42:52
Zeus: Imma put my dick in her.
4 0
Evanrudeplz . 2018-09-21 19:42:57
Transraptor Jesus!
3 1
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